


Human

by CandyXatu



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Canon Typical Identity Crisis, First Kiss, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Mild canon divergence, au where Jon actually communicates with friends, there's a little bit of crying but everything's ok in the end, which is my excuse for forgetting that Jon stays at georgie's until he gets kidnapped
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-15
Updated: 2018-11-15
Packaged: 2019-08-24 04:50:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16633274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CandyXatu/pseuds/CandyXatu
Summary: Martin reminds Jon how it feels to be human.





	Human

**Author's Note:**

> HHHHHHH ONCE AGAIN MY INSPIRATION COMES AT A HORRIBLE TIME.  
> this was written at 3am while i was running on caffeine and painkillers, enjoy

Jon hadn't felt an emotion in a long time.

 

He knew that wasn't healthy, of _course_ he did, but he could never actually make himself feel something, however hard he tried sometimes.

 

Too scared of putting Georgie in further danger by staying with her, he simply sat in his office, reading statements until exhaustion weighed on him so heavily that he lay on his arms and fell asleep where he sat. As soon as he woke up, it was back to the statements again.

 

It took a remarkably long time for him to admit that this wasn't healthy, and that he _needed_ to speak to someone, to hear a voice that wasn't his own, and even longer to act on his realization and decide to seek out an assistant to chat with.

 

"Statement ends." He sighed, knowing he couldn't put it off for much longer, as much as he wanted to. And he really, _really _wanted to.__

____

 

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It's for the best.

____

 

____

He straightened his back, flinching as it cracked, clearly not used to being in a position where he wasn't hunched over the old tape recorder and statement notes.

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He rose slowly, almost carefully, from his chair, as if worried his legs may have atrophied in his time spent seated and that attempting to put any weight on them would cause him to fall.

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His muscles hadn't wasted away, obviously. Even if his movements had been limited over the last few weeks, he knew he'd moved enough not to have actually done serious damage. A few clicks, a shake to get the blood circulating, and he was fine, and back on track to seek out some company.

____

 

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He knew he shouldn't be picky, didn't have the right to be, but the first person he saw upon leaving was Tim, a scowl on his face as he strode down the corridor, holding a pack of Digestives by their knotted end. He didn't even spare a glance at Jon as he passed, and turned towards Artifact Storage, slamming the door shut behind him.

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The next sign of life was Melanie's voice, echoing down the corridor from the spare room that was widely considered her office. As he drew nearer, however, he heard the instantly recognizable inflection of her voice that told him she was reading a statement. Jon knew the frustration of being interrupted mid-recording all too well, and knew how prickly Melanie could be, it was safest to leave her be.

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Jon knew he was looking for excuses. Interrupting others had never bothered him before, and Tim scowling and storming off somewhere wouldn't have stopped him any other time. But, somewhere deep down, Jon knew who he was looking for.

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Martin, without fail, stirred some emotion in Jon. That sweet, toothy, dopey grin always made Jon's heart flutter in ways he hadn't felt in _years_ , the touches that always lingered just a little longer than necessary made his stomach do Olympic gold medalist worthy flips. Normally, he buried these feelings, unwilling to admit or act upon them. But now, after weeks of isolation, Jon wanted, _needed_ , to feel them.

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Maybe Martin could remind him that he was human.

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As he approached the library, he heard Martin's soft voice drifting down the corridor, it seemed like he was recording a statement too. Jon paused just outside, listening to Martin blather on, reading a statement that, from what Jon could pick up, seemed to be about an old man who was deathly certain his neighbour's eight-year-old child was a demon. Jon could hear Martin trying to keep his amusement from his voice, he could _hear_ that smile he loved in his voice.

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He sighed, he knew he was being hypocritical. He hadn't _dared_ to interrupt Melanie, but he was about to do the exact same thing to Martin, all because he wanted some company. Wasn't that a little selfish? To disrupt Martin's work just because he felt a little lonely? That was what he told himself, but, seemingly on its own accord, he caught his hand about to knock, and, with a grimace, he allowed it to do so.

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There was a startled rustle of papers from the other side of the door before Martin piped up.

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"Come in!" He called.

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Jon took a deep, steadying breath before pushing the door open and dithering awkwardly on the threshold.

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"Jon?" He sounded startled, his expression matched his tone, but was there something else beneath his shock? Was he pleased? It must be his imagination.

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"Surprised to see me?"

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"Yeah, a bit. Pleased though! Glad to see you're okay,"

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Jon winced. He really didn't like using his powers on people who didn't _need_ to tell the truth. He hated how candidly his questions were answered, as if they always had a pre-prepared, revised answer, when in reality, Jon was simply dragging their first thoughts from their lips without giving them time to consider a proper response.

____

 

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Though, from Martin's soft smile, he assumed his answer would have been the same, compelled or not.

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"Did you need something?"

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Jon panicked. "No- I mean yes, sort of? I just, um- can I sit?"

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He watched the cogs turn in Martin's head before the realization of what Jon had said came over him, a blush settled on his cheeks. His nervous nature seemed to catch up to him as he squeaked out a flustered "O-okay."

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He smiled encouragingly and stepped around the desk to take the chair opposite. Did Martin's grip tighten on the statement notes? Probably his imagination again.

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"You can... finish the statement. Pretend I'm not here."

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Martin nodded, a little shakily, and continued. Jon listened enraptured, for fifteen minutes (or was it twenty?), as Martin read though the statement, both trying valiantly to keep from laughing as this senile old bastard mistook normal child behaviour for signs of demonism.

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Martin finished the recording with an amused smile on his face. Jon's heart, rather predictably, fluttered once more.

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Martin looked up to him, smile still curling at his lips.

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"Was there something you needed? Or were you just looking for company?" His tone was joking, but his words struck home in a way he couldn't have known they would.

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"Am I still human?"

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The question fell from his mouth before he could stop it. He regretted it immediately.

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Martin's eyes went so wide, he could see rings of white surrounding the honey-brown.

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"I... I think so?" Uncertainty.

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"I-I mean, you still breathe, your thoughts are your own," he paused. "Your heart still beats, right? What more makes someone human?"

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Now it was Jon's turn to pause. He hadn't meant to bring the mood down and make his 'identity crisis' Martin's problem like this. He considered his next words carefully. He'd already ruined the mood, right? Might as well just say what was on his mind. Martin would know just what to say.

____

 

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He always did.

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"Sometimes I don't feel like I am." He murmured.

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And then, a soft hand was placed over his own. Jon looked up instantly, eyes locking with Martin's and, to his credit, for someone who despised eye contact, he held it. Calmly, steadily, reassuringly.

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"But you _are_ ," he insisted. "You're not a monster. You never have been, and you never will be,” he paused for a moment before continuing.

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"We've spoken to plenty," he smiled now and spoke with slight amusement. "And you're nothing like them."

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A surge of emotion overcame Jon, threatening to choke him. He felt himself begin to tear up, felt his lip begin to quiver. He desperately willed himself not to cry.

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Martin noticed, of course he did, and reached forward and cupped his face in his free hand, running a thumb across his cheekbone.

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"Hey, hey, hey," he soothed. " _I'm_ supposed to be the emotional one, come on."

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And that was enough. Jon surged forward, pulling his hand from Martin's grip and sending the files and Martin's tape recorder flying from the desk as he grabbed Martin's face and pulled him into a desperate kiss.

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The angle was all wrong, their teeth clacked and their noses bumped but Jon couldn't find it in him to care. Martin's hands came up to cradle his face and that was when Jon really _did_ start crying.

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When they pulled apart, Martin wordlessly wiped Jon's tears with the sleeve of his jumper. Jon smiled, Martin smiled back, flustered as he was.

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Jon felt human for the first time in weeks. He felt his pulse racing, and felt _genuine_ happiness for the first time since _long_ before this whole thing had begun.

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Jon _was_ human, and he had Martin to thank.

____

**Author's Note:**

> Like the tags said, i totally forgot Jon kept staying with Georgie until the Breekon and Hope incident, sorry hhhhh


End file.
